Persona 3 Abridged
by Nightly7
Summary: Everyone has a gimmick. Nothing is the same anymore. Can a group of quirky, high school students stand up and face their enemies? Or do they just don't care at all? Minato x Harem. Co written by Raidou The 16th.
1. Chapter 1

The train lurched forward, and the sleeping blunette ended up slamming his head on what seemed to be a really pretty blue butterfly.

He sat up straight again, and fixed his unnecessarily long fringe. And finally, his name was Minato Arisato.

"..." Minato stared lifelessly at the crushed remains of the poor bug. "I am a danger to everything around me..." He bit back the tears and ended up curling against the seat. "Woe is me..."

"Iwatodai. We have reached Iwatodai," The PA system let the still curled up teeanger know.

"Iwatodai," Minato repeated. "I lost my parents here... my life, my soul and my heart... everything ended in Iwatodai for me." He shut his eyes and held onto his seat.

"Get off the freaking train kid, next up is the Red Light district," The PA system blared once again.

"I went to a red light district once... and I am still dying a virgin," Minato said sadly.

He finally got up from his seat and painfully staggered out of the train. The station was bustling with people, everyone of them were gossiping or doing something important, unlike our protagonist.

"Ah people," Minato sighed. "Such a busy place..." His shoulders slumped. More than usual. "Life's thread is so thin... it could break under the most insignificant of pressures..." Just as Minato said that, the world around him shifted. His mp3 player shut off, the moon took a sickly yellow color, his surroundings went green and lastly the people turned into coffins.

Minato was taken by surprise. "HOLY SHIT! THEY ACTUALLY DIED!" He cried. He took a step back and placed his hand on his chest.

"Oh... please, don't abandon me like all those I cared about..." He was talking to his heart.

"Wait," Minato blinked. "This has happened before for sure..."

"Isn't it uberly stupid that I'm suddenly taking it seriously now?" He sighed. "Well... dead people and blood, this hour suits me. Looks like the perfects depiction of the scenery within my twisted heart..."

He pulled out a pamphlet which had several pictures drawn on it.

"So, I go from the little bleeding knife to cracked heart..." Minato noted and began making his towards the dorm that he was temporary staying in.

He purposely stepped on every puddle of blood and gave a sad sigh every time for some strange reason.

Finally, he stopped right in front of the dorm. It was fairly tall and well built, about 4 stories long.

"No chance of survival if someone drops from there... a sad demise..." Minato pointed out. He pushed the door open and took a step into what seemed to be the lounge. The lights were off and the only thing that was illuminating the place was the moonlight.

"Over here, you cyclops! Oh no, wait, that's just your fringe," Minato turned his head ever so slowly towards the source of the voice. It was a kid who radiated smartass-ness, he had large blue eyes and was sporting a prison uniform. His lips were stretched into an all knowing smirk.

Minato stared at the kid for more than a minute before declaring. "It's okay to be jailbird nowadays kid."

"I am your warden," The kid giggled.

"I am a prisoner," Minato nodded. "My body is my holding ce-" He was cut off by the enigmatic child once again.

"Anyway, can you write? Sign the damn contract," He said flatly, thrusting the contract he was holding into Minato's hand.

Minato sighed. "Sure, anything to make you happy, jailbird," He opened it up and wrote his name cleanly, along with a broken heart at the end. He handed it back to the blue eyed kid who end up sniggering.

"Dumbass," The kid vanished away with a trace.

"Yes, leave me alone why don't you... I'll just be here, hoping," Minato said sadly.

"Rapists! Show yourselves!" Minato turned around to face another voice, and this time it was feminine.

"Rapist?" Minato looked at his shoes. "Despicable people they are... though I deserve to go to Hell more than they do... actually, my life is already a Hell..." Several footsteps later, Minato ended face to face with a rather cute brunette. She had pink sweater on, and a skirt which was shorter than her hair.

Oh, and she was pointing a gun at Minato.

"Have you come to put me out of the misery I call life?" Minato asked.

"I knew you came for me, you won't be able to touch me, pervert!" The brunette yelled.

"..." Minato sized her up from head to toe.

"What, weirdo?" The girl questioned.

"You're not even that hot," Minato said bluntly.

A tense silence prevailed in the room.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!" The girl actually charged at Minato who gasped and took a step back.

"Takeba, I command that you stop," Yet another voice welcomed Minato's ears.

"See? Just that voice alone was hotter than you," Minato mumbled.

Just as he said that, the lights came back on. His mp3 player began blasting music once again and the he could finally see the two girls clearly.

The other girl was a really hot redhead who seemed to be an year older than him. Not that Minato cared, nobody would want an emo like him anyway. At least that was what he thought.

"I'm still gonna fucking kill him!" Takeba growled at Mitsuru.

"Welcome to my dorm. My name is Mitsuru Kirijo. Did you hear that? Ki-ri-jo," The redhead spoke, ignoring Takeba and putting extra emphasis on the Kirijo. "My family is one of the richest in the world, and we own this island."

Minato blinked.

"Room ple-" Minato tried to speak but Mitsuru interrupted him.

"Oh, and we own you too, technically," She shrugged.

"Right. Anyway my roo-"

"That uniform is ours too," Mitsuru barged in once again.

Minato deadpanned at his senior this time.

"Okay. Can I visit my room that YOU own?"

Mitsuru seemed pleased. "Yes, since you realized your place in this world, I shall give you the room for free. Anyway, this is Yukari "less important than me" Takeba," She pointed at the brunette who was still fuming. "She's not as rich as me, well not even close but she's the same year as you. Oh, and nobody in the second year has more money than me."

"Hi." Minato waved at Takeba.

"I hate you," Yukari snarled at the new transfer student.

"I get that a lot," Minato said sadly as he lowered his hand. "Anyway, why do you have a gun?" Actually, who let Yukari near a gun?

The two panicked this time. Yukari hid her gun behind her back and Mitsuru began. "Oh, it's not real. The Kirijo group made it just to scare burglars away. Oh and it is made up of diamonds, like this." Mitsuru said, flashing the diamond ring in her finger for all to see.

Minato thought for a while. Wouldn't it work better if the gun wasn't made of something burglars actually wanted to steal? And wouldn't it work even better if the gun actually worked?

He shrugged the thought aside. She had probably paid the burglars to abide by her logic.

"Okay, cool. Now room, please," Minato deadpanned again.

"Takeba, please take him to his room which I own," Mitsuru looked at Yukari who nodded and grabbed Minato by his collar.

"Sure, senpai," She dragged the protagonist away, and both of them went up the stairs.

"I'll let you know that I'm really popular in school. Men want me, and bitches want to be like," Yukari continued ranting about how hot and popular she was.

Not that Minato was paying it any attention.

The two ended up stopping on the last room on the 2nd floor. Yukari let go of his collar and spoke stiffly. "Anyway, this is your room. I don't like you or anything nor do I have any concern for you... I still wanna kill you. But did you see anything weird when coming over here?"

"Oh yeah, like the blood, the coffins, the yellow moon, the smartass jailbird kid and the crazy bitch who held a diamond fake gun to my head? Yeah, surely saw something weird." He said.

"... seemed like Iwatodai itself had a period," Minato nodded sagely as he mused aloud.

"... Idiot," Yukari spat at the blue haired protagonist and walked away.

Minato sighed and opened the door to his room. Nobody liked him.

Not taking off his uniform which he had donned for absolutely no reason at all, Minato staggered towards the comfortable bed and collapsed onto it.

"First day back, and everybody already hates me..." He sniffed.

* * *

><p><strong>Test fic. Inspired by TFS. Tell us what you think. Everyone has a hilarious gimmick going on and there will be recurring gags in the story, which will be very different from the original. You'll see what I mean in the next chapter. Like always, review and tell us what you think.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Minato opened his eyes slowly and almost dramatically, almost hoping something would happen and his eyes would remain closed forever.

... Nothing happened.

"Aww shit, I'm still alive," The protagonist sighed and bashed his head onto the bed. A morning ritual for him.

He wearily stood up and made his way towards the mirror. He ended up face to face with his reflection. "You look like shit as usual..." He then grabbed a comb and started fixing his fringe.

After that, Minato staggered towards his closet and dug out his school uniform. He sniffed his clothes and hung his head low. "Smells just like dad..."

And so began another day in the live of Minato Arisato.

Minato was curled up on his bed when someone knocked on his door. "You awake, moron?"

Minato mumbled something into his pillow but of course Yukari couldn't hear it.

"Get your emo ass up," Yukari thundered.

Minato let out a sad sigh and hugged his pillow tightly. He still didn't respond.

This time, Yukari didn't ask. She kicked the door to his room open and fixed her brown eyes onto Minato, and promptly began lashing out at the saddened teenager.

"Look, I know you suck, you know you suck, everyone knows you suck," Yukari spat. "But get the Hell up, I don't wanna miss school because of you. If I do, I'll lose a small fraction of my perfect student charm. AND I'M NOT GONNA LET A STUPID VIRGIN LIKE YOU RUIN MY PERFECT IMAGE!"

Normally, any sane guy would blush if he was in Minato's position, since all he was wearing was nothing but a sleeveless t-shirt and boxers. And any sane girl would charge out of the room, but frankly, does it look like any of those two are sane?

Minato slowly stood up and nodded dumbly. "I understand. I'm damaged damaged beyond repair, but you... you can still... enjoy life, unlike me..."

"Idiot," Yukari spat, crossing her arms. "Get dressed. Don't know why senpai made me babysit a moron like you." She glared at the protagonist now. "You better sleep like a bitch during that hour, capiche?"

"I don't sleep... I just drift from one nightmare to another," Minato explained with a heavy heart.

"On my Godly beauty, I swear you are one annoying little sucker," Yukari sneered and turned on her heels. She was about to walk away until Minato spoke.

"You kinda saw me naked, and-"

Yukari turned around and thundered at him. "You have a vagina! It doesn't matter anyway!" With that, she stormed out of his room.

Silence...

Minato curled up again. "It's alright Minato," He consoled himself. "She doesn't have any intention of finding out whatsoever" He sniffed.

After a fairly uneventful train ride, morning assembly and a few classes, the first day of school finally ended for Minato. The bell rang and the students started gossiping, some of them leaving for home and stuff like that. Minato however, was in the exact same position for almost the whole school day, which was: His head buried into his arms on the desk.

"Everyone hates me," he took a petal of the Sunflower. "Everyone hates me not," another petal. "Everyone hates m- Ah, who the fuck am I kidding? Of course they hate me," Minato sighed sadly and ripped the Sunflower apart. "Don't worry about me dear fellows, I hope you all have a fantastic life, unlike me..."

"This new guy totally sucks," Said one of the students.

"Point proven..." Minato replied in a split second.

Minato didn't move for the next 10 minutes, and he was only shaken away from his self pitying when someone was kind enough to...

Hit on him.

"Hello there, miss," Minato cringed.

Was Yukari actually telling the truth? Was he really something in between the two genders. Was he some kind of repulsive creature that deserved to be burned on a pike?

Who was he kidding... he was already a repulsive creature without being a hermaphrodite.

"May I have the pleasure of knowing your beautiful name?" The dude with a baseball cap and a slight goatee kept thinking he was hitting on a cute blue haired lass, and slowly, Minato himself was believing that.

Minato slowly raised his head up to face the guy. "I'm on the verge of being a gender confused wolf."

"Ah shit, you're a guy!" The capped teenager gritted his teeth, shooting venomous glare. "Wait, you do look like a girl, sort of.."

"Will you love me if I'm a girl?" Minato said hopefully.

The capped teen nearly barfed. "Hell no, you ain't got dem curves, but since you don't look like a male, I guess I'll talk to you. I'm Junpei Iori, what's your sorry excuse for a name?"

Someone introduced themselves to Minato without hostility. This was a special day in his life. tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm Minato Arisato," He replied with a quivery voice, and shot out from his seat to hug Junpei.

"... The fuck are you doing?" Junpei asked, unable to move because of Minato's vicious grip.

"I am hugging you. Isn't this what people do when they're friends?" Minato asked hopefully.

"It's what people do when they like each other, and I don't swing that way. And when I say 'I don't swing that way', I mean 'I'm not even your friend'." Junpei said as he shrugged.

Minato let go of Junpei with tears in his eyes. "At least you don't hate me?"

"Treading close to that line, mate," Junpei responded. "Hey, Yuka-tan! Can you believe this loser?" Junpei called out to Yukari, who was talking to her class friends.

"... and then, I told him: 'We should totally turn this into an Olympics sport... because you just broke the world speed record'!'- What do you want, Junpei, I'm fucking busy with people more important than you!"

"But you don't even know their names!" Junpei exclaimed.

"Exactly!" Yukari yelled from where she was sat.

Junpei was at a loss for words, as Yukari turned back to her conversation.

"No problem, I'll wait for you, for however long it takes," Junpei said, sitting on Minato's desk.

After another 10 minutes, Yukari looked around the homeroom. There was no else, and so she made her way towards the two males.

"'Sup, emo?" Yukari sneered at Minato.

"I know, right?" Junpei laughed along with Yukari, placing his arm around Yukari who wasn't bothered since she was laughing at Minato.

"How are you? Better than me, I hope," Minato asked.

"That is obvious. I mean, look at me, I'm the diva of this school," Yukari proclaimed proudly. Junpei slowly and steady brought his hand down her back, giggling like a child while doing so. "Boys would kill for just a flock of my hair."

"... You're not even that hot," Minato repeated.

Another tense silence prevailed.

Yukari was so taken aback by his answer, that she didn't realize that Junpei's hand was extremely close to her ass. Junpei was glad that Minato was holding Yukari off, he would not thank a guy out loud but he was glad.

"Junpei," Yukari said, making Junpei pull his hand back with a inaudible cuss. "This boy needs a good kick in his vagina." Yukari could feel her sassy chick persona leveling up just by saying something so edgy and rough.

Oh yeah, it pumped Yukari up.

"He's a dude," Junpei growled at poor Minato who turned his head away in sadness.

"He still has one!" Yukari insisted.

"HE DOES!?" Junpei looked over to Minato with a grin and renewed interest. "Minato, old buddy old pal, we really need to hit up some cool places in Iwatodai, I'll show you around."

"For fuck's sake!" Yukari put extra emphasis on 'FUCK'. People loved cuss words.

"He's a guy and has no vagina, I was just taunting him, you filthy queer!"

Junpei pulled his hand back from Minato's shoulder with a look of disgust and Minato's somewhat happy smile faded into his usual sad face.

"OH EM GEE, you two are a bunch of sad virgins," Yukari laughed condescendingly. "I can't believe it, both of you are emo losers."

Minato blinked.

"... Does that mean you've slept with loads of guys? That kinda makes you a slut," Minato pointed out and looked determinedly in Yukari's eyes who was fuming with rage.

"Always use safety measure, I don't want someone so young to end up with an STD," Minato said with concern. "Stop whoring around, please, you'll rise up as a new woman: better and stronger than ever."

"... Fuck you," Yukari said through clenched teeth.

"Why him?" Junpei protested.

"I don't wanna die with an STD, I wanna do something that helps people before dying," Minato said with determination again. He stood up. "Farewell dear fellows, remember, be happy and don't turn out like me..." With that, Minato sniffed and staggered out of the homeroom, leaving both of them speechless.

...

Minato made his way towards the dorm. He stepped into the lounge and was welcomed by Yukari.

"Get over here, asshole," Yukari demanded.

Minato walked over towards the couches where along with Yukari, someone else was sitting there. It was a middle aged man with a long brown hair and a goatee. He was clad in a brown suit, along with squared glasses.

Minato looked sadly at Yukari. "I thought I told you to say no to unprotected sex..."

Yukari's eyes flashed red.

She tackled Minato onto the couch and brought her hands near his neck. "That's it, laugh now pretty boy," She snarled with a distorted voice, choking Minato out.

Minato however was as sad and depressed as ever, even though Yukari was really choking him hard and his face was turning into the same color as his hair. His look was a complete dead one and it scared the red outta Yukari's eyes.

The brunette jumped back and gasped. "What the hell are you?"

Unknowingly, those words caused Minato more pain.

Was he really that despicable? Trying his best to shrug her hateful comments away, Minato turned to the grown up who wasn't really affected by what was going on.

"May I help you, kind sir?" Minato asked, bowing slightly, and wiping the single tear rolling down his cheek.

"Please, refer to me as Prince Ikutsuki," The now known Ikutsuki said softly, like was really some prince from a faraway land.

"... Please, don't delude yourself. It makes you daydream, while ignoring everything important that is happening in reality, and no offense meant, you don't look like a prince at all. I mean, c'mon, where's your crown?"

Minato gulped. That was thee obscure reference. "However, work hard and you might just be promoted to the prince's janitor. There is always hope for you, unlike me."

Ikutsuki's smile faded.

Minato was even more saddened. "I am terribly sorry."

After a few more tears, Minato apologized and went back to his room with a heavy heart. "What am I... some kind of monster...?" He wondered, crashing onto his bed and drifting to sleep.

A few mindscrews and seizure procedures later, Minato opened his eyes slowly and was greeted by blue. Lots and lots of blue, oh and three people as well... actually, two humans one one hobbit sitting across the table.

Okay, maybe the mindscrews were not really over.

Minato noted that he was in some sort of elevator. And the music, it was so soothing...

Minato yawned.

"Welcome to Hell!" The hobbit welcomed Minato with excitement. Minato was a little freaked out by his appearance. A huge nose, bloodshot eyes and a gentleman suit, but dammit, he was really sleepy to care. He looked over to observe the other two.

One was a female with platinum blond hair and golden eyes, and Minato was sure he could never score with someone like her. Case closed. He looked to the side and saw a young man with the exact same features as the girl. Well, except the curves and... you know. He would never add Minato on MySpace.

Yes, MySpace. An anti social network that fit Minato perfectly.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" The hobbit asked.

"I had an episode of..." Minato yawned again. "Uncertainty but I've come to terms, I am a male."

"Splendid, my name is Mega Elf Igor, or just Igor for short, and this is the blue light district," Igor welcomed Minato, who was seriously about to doze off.

"Sir, this is the Velvet Room," The male sighed. "He's our guest."

"..." Igor pointed at the female. "So, Margaret won't be giving us a show?"

"No sir Igor, she's my sister, and she's Elizabeth," The male sighed again.

"She is?" Igor blinked.

"Sir, I believe this is the third time we've told you that," Elizabeth groaned.

"Bollocks, this is the first time, I've heard of it," Igor said flatly. "Why am I always the last to know? Incompetent assistants." The siblings sighed in annoyance and exasperation. Igor turned his attention to Minato who had his head on the table.

"What brings this cute young lady to my casino?" Igor asked bluntly.

"SIR! You brought him here to discuss the contract, and this is the Velvet Room!" Theodore face-palmed hard, pointing at the contract that was lying on the table. Minato drifted to sleep but nobody paid it any real attention.

Igor opened the contract. "Minato Arisato..." He paused. "Can someone explain why there is a picture of a broken butt here?"

"Master Igor, that is an image of the heart, not someone's posterior," Elizabeth corrected.

"Silence. I recognize a butt when I see one," Igor insisted. "And this is a butt."

The three kept arguing, not caring for Minato who was still asleep. Nobody bothered to explain about what the contract was and what it meant. In the end, Minato was thrown out of the Velvet Room and was back in the real world.

... And there was this one key on the Velvet Room's table which had Minato's name tag on it.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, thanks for the many reviews guys, I guess I can consider that you'll like this fic. It's co-written by Raidou but like always, he has nothing to say. : Anyway, like I said different plot : Minato hasn't got the key, how in hell will he get into the velvet room now? Read and find out.**

**And yes, Igor is faaaaaar away from being the wise character he was in P3, he's senile and has a habit of bossing his assistants around.**

**Like always, please review and let us know what you think. Caio.  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Minato snored in his sleep.

"No... don't run away from me... I just want a huuug..."

He shifted on his bed, blissfully unaware (subconsciously denying) that it was a school day today. And unfortunately for him, Yukari was making her way towards his room.

Minato was still sleeping when Yukari kicked the door to his room open and starting yelling. "Get up, emo bitch, I don't wanna be lat-" She stopped midway and stared long and hard at Minato who was still sleeping.

"God damn, he looks hot asleep," Yukari muttered, sizing our protagonist. If her eyes had teeth, he'd be devoured, by now. "He looks retarded when he's awake though."

"Yukari-san," Minato muttered in his sleep but the female in question was able to hear it. Yukari went closer to Minato, who was still mumbling in his sleep.

"Please, say no to unprotected sex."

A vein propped up on the brunette's forehead.

"Get up!" Yukari rammed Minato onto the floor with a vicious glare. Poor Minato hit his head on the ground painfully hard, and he had no idea no idea as to what was going on.

Yukari sat on Minato's stomach and grabbed him by the collar. "You ain't getting any of me!" She began rocking him back and forth, yelling in his face. "Not in a million years you'll get into my pants! You might look hot when asleep but you are pure disappointment from the moment you open your eyes... which... are kinda hot tooBUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!"

Minato's head was spinning so badly that he couldn't make complete sense about what was happening to him. Someone was rocking him back and forth while talking about sex and stuff like that.

"I-I'm saving it for marriage," Minato mumbled, his head spinning.

Yukari laughed condescendingly, still shaking him. "Hahahaha! He says it like he'll ever get any in his lifetime."

Oh yeah, another level up for Yukari.

For the next ten minutes, Yukari kept yelling at Minato about how insignificant he was, but Minato really wasn't paying it any attention. He was actually hurt from the fall, and his mind wasn't thinking straight.

Until someone finally had enough and went over to see what the infernal racket was.

Who was it?

Mitsuru, of course.

The owner of everything stepped into Minato's her room. She rose an eyebrow at Minato on the floor, half asleep, with Yukari on top of him while grabbing a hold of his collar. Not to mention their faces were kinda close to each other.

"What is the meaning of th- oh, God, he looks hot when he's asleep." She noted.

"Yeah, I hope he is capable of having sex while asleep," Yukari nodded.

"WHAT?" Mitsuru widened her eyes.

Yukari realized what she had just said. She stood up and and splashed a glass of water over Poor Minato.

Our protagonist flapped like a fish and still, he couldn't see or make stuff out clearly. Poor Minato had suffered a concussion from the fall.

Yukari blinked, Minato was still half asleep and he still looked hot.

"Cannot unsee..." She muttered. Yukari took a step back and gulped. "I can't ogle an emo bitch like him, control yourself Yukari." The brunette begrudgingly walked out of his room.

"Persona or no persona, he is in MOSEES," Mitsuru nodded to herself. She ended up staring at Minato for more than 5 minutes, and after slapping a Kirijo Property stamp on his forehead, she forcefully dragged herself away. Who knows what she could have done?

Clumsily, Minato finally got up. He had no fucking idea where he was and who was sitting on him. All he knew was that he had to go to school. Minato limped over to his closet and dug out his uniform.

"Why is it as dark as my heart in here?" Minato muttered, rubbing his head. He ended up shrugging and donned the uniform over his sleep wear.

"Onwards," Minato staggered out of his room.

For some reason, Yukari wasn't there to knock him or make fun of him. Hell, even Mitsuru wasn't yelling that she owned him. It was weird but of course, Minato had no fucking idea what was going on.

Minato missed a step and fell down the stairs. He painfully landed on his head again, and let out a whimper.

"Ow... I deserved it. Stab me through the heart, next time," Minato muttered. He still stood up and walked towards the door. He tripped a couple of times, but defiant as ever, he made his way out of his dorm.

A silver haired dude was shadow boxing in the corner. He rose a brow at the stumbling junior and wondered. "Wonder why Takeba runs him down. He's pretty good looking, and dare I say he's hot..." The senior shook his head. "The Hell did I just think?" And he went back to punching the air.

Heads were turned when Minato walked into the crowds. Females and even males said he looked pretty hot. That was because Minato was still knocked out and half asleep. He was walking without a soul on sheer willpower.

Minato ended up tripping a couple of times again, and instead of walking towards the monorail, he turned left and headed right towards Shirakawa Boulevard. Even though he had no idea a place of that sort existed.

Mindlessly, Minato stumbled through the place, bumping into people or tripping occasionally. He finally ended up in a room which he thought was his homeroom. He threw his imaginary backpack onto the ground and sat on the bed next to someone.

And that someone was a cougar...

And her name was Isako Toriumi.

"Minato-kun?" Toriumi yelped, finding her hot new crush sitting beside her.

"Present," Minato mumbled, leaning back.

"What are you here for?"

"The usual, mam,"

"Really?" Toriumi nearly squealed. His hotness was multiplied for some reason.

"Of course, please let's not waste any time," Minato replied.

"So, uh... should I start from the top... or the bottom?" Toriumi asked.

She was talking about the book, right? Why would anyone start from the bottom of the book?

"Obviously Miss Toriumi, from the top."

Toriumi rubbed her hands together with a lustful grin. "Don't mind if I do.."

Toriumi spend a good half an hour on the... 'top'. Minato was so out of it by that point that he wasn't even feeling anything. The constant tripping made him high. He would just nod at times and Toriumi would think of that as an approval.

Just when Toriumi was about to work on his bottom... Some bell rang and Minato stood up, thinking school was out.

"Finally," Minato mumbled.

"Where are you going?" Toriumi clenched her fist.

"I'll be back tomorrow mam," Minato nodded.

"Promise?" Toriumi giggled.

"Of course," he answered. What a fun school day.

With that, our protagonist began his stumbling out of the room. He was smooched by quite a few more cougars since the place was full of them. But finally, he got out of the dreaded love hotel and made his way back towards his dorm. How he did that was absolutely fascinating.

Minato's face was full of lipstick marks and his neck had quite a few hickeys. Of course, he was oblivious as ever.

The near unconscious teenager opened the doors to the dorm and stepped in... and he tripped again.

"Welcome bac- HOLY!" Mitsuru dropped her novel on the ground and stared wide eyed at Minato.

"Is there a problem?" Minato asked with his half closed eyes, turning towards Mitsuru. Mitsuru saw the lipsticks on his cheeks and fumed.

"N-Nothing," Mitsuru clenched her teeth. He had even managed to lose her stamp along the way.

Minato nodded dumbly and made his way up the stairs.

Mitsuru was panting hard. She was totally pissed, but one thought somewhat calmed her down. "Technically, I own that lipstick... so those smooches are mine..."

Poor Mitsuru...

Miraculously, Minato finally landed on his bed. Tired and lost, our protagonist drifted to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Finally, the concussion began to heal and Minato started mumbling his usual depressed shtick during his sleep.

...

Meanwhile...

Yukari had been staring at the feed for over 30 minutes. She couldn't get over how hot Minato looked while he was sleeping, and how retarded he looked when he was awake.

"So, does he have the potential?" Ikutsuki asked, and this time he brought a clown.

"Potential or no potential, he'll be a part of my team," Mitsuru announced. "He looks like a dead fish normally, but he looks hot when he's sleeping. I wonder why..."

"I agree. Those shadows won't be killing themselves," Ikutsuki laughed.

The gigantic monitor began to beep. Mitsuru punched a few buttons and Akihiko's voice blared around the room.

"It's a huge one! He's on my tail! I'm coming!" He shouted, making both of the females panic...

... then snicker.

Then panic again.

"Well, finally, I was thinking he wasn't gonna show up," Ikutsuki sighed. Mitsuru was way too panicked to interrogate Ikutsuki at his point.

"So you're bringing it here?" Yukari shrieked.

Silence on the other end for more than a minute.

"No, Takeba. I'll be taking him to the movies... Ya dumb broad," Akihiko spat. "Get ready, I'm close..."

"Dammit," Mitsuru gritted her teeth and began to issue out orders. "Takeba, you head over to his room, wake him up, then escape," Yukari nodded, somewhat excitedly. She began to make her way out but Mitsuru shouted. "Don't try to do anything I don't pay you for, you got that?"

"You don't pay me for anything!" Yukari retorted.

"GO!" Mitsuru demanded.

Yukari's face twisted into a scowl. She ran away with an annoyed sigh. The brunette ran up the stairs, but a tremor shook the building and made her trip. She could also hear Mitsuru yelling at Akihiko. Yukari got up again and ran towards Minato's room.

Minato slowly woke up, his concussion finally faded and his usual emo-ish behavior back in full swing. Someone was knocking on his door. Why would someone do that, however, was beyond him.

"Why would anyone wanna see the empty shell that is me?" He sniffed, walking towards the door and turning the knob.

Yukari came running in, tackling Minato to the ground. Luckily, he didn't suffer a concussion this time.

"Quick, take off your pant-" Yukari stopped as she stared at Minato. His hotness was gone and his usual dead, sad and cringe worthy expression was back in place.

"... God damn you," Yukari muttered.

The building shook once again and both of the teens shrieked. Yukari shoved Minato away and made a run out of his room, yelling the whole while. "Go kill yourself emo, I'll be at the roof! No way a monster can climb up and kill me!"

"... You're right... I do deserve to die," Minato sighed, curling up on the floor as Yukari ran upstairs.

"Life it seems will faaaaade awaaay..." He sang as he rocked back and forth on the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Might be the last chapter for a while since my college is opening up again. :T But anyway, hope you enjoyed this. Yes, Minato is 'really hot' asleep. otherwise he has a really dead and sad expression that just pisses people off. And don't worry, Minato suffering concussions will be a running gag in the story. :P Please review, and if you guys like a crossover, check out disposable heroes which both of us wrote.<strong>

**Thank you for the review and reads, hopefully we'll see you soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

Yukari stopped midway, remembering what Mitsuru ordered her. "Aww shit," She moaned.

"Why would senpai keep him here? His face looks like he's stuck forever in the friendzone, for fuck's sake... except he doesn't have any friends..."

And another level up for Takeba.

Yukari backtracked and begrudgingly stomped back to Minato's room.

She kicked the door open. "Get the he-"

She looked below to see Minato rocking back and forth, sucking on his thumb and singing "All Shall Fade".

Minato noticed her and sighed. "Would you like to spit on me or kick my ass?"

"Second option, really, I so wish I could," Yukari groaned. "I wanna punch you really hard, right now."

"Then again, you might break a nail and go into a hissy fit doing it..." Minato mumbled. "Actually, why don't you smile more? It'd be a nice break from your ugly bitchy side..."

Yukari let out a harpy screech from Hell and pounced on Minato. "You sad little virgin. You won't ever see me on top of you, never in a million years," She grabbed him by the collar again and began rocking him. "My perfect body is reserved for a prince charming. A God among men, do you hear me!?"

"When did Gekkoukan become Disney Land, then? I've never seen so many Prince Charmings in a single campus," Minato repeated sadly. "Besides, you're not even that hot... sucks to try being someone who you can't be. Trust me, I know it bites." Minato nodded to himself, before retreating into his depression again. "Oh, I'm sorry, sorry, I let my anger speak for a moment, and-"

Yukari growled lowly and her eyes flashed red.

"Son of a-"

But she was interrupted by another quake shaking the building.

Yukari shrieked. "It's coming closer. That damn thing is near."

Meanwhile, Minato was wondering. "For some reason, I totally can't feel my boxers..."

Yukari groaned and pulled Minato up and started dragging him away by his collar. The two went up several steps, passed by the command room, which would be safest place to hide in, but nope.

Yukari dragged Minato onto the roof and slammed the door shut.

"Phew, safe here," Yukari slowly slid down against the door.

"Don't you think that thing could climb up and..."

"Shut up emo, My calculations are never wrong," Yukari spat.

"Okay..." Minato said sadly, looking at the ground.

Yukari twitched. "I swear, you're the biggest pain in my ass since that double ended-" Yukari took a closer look at his face.

"... Hey, now you kinda remind me of that Okay Guy mem-"

A growl cut Yukari off.

"Goddammit, can I finish a fucking sentenc-"

She looked over to the side and saw a jet black hand holding onto the roof.

"Oh shit, its here!" Yukari stood up. She looked below at Minato and growled. "This is all your fault, asshole."

"I know," Minato curled up and began singing Last Resort.

A mass of limbs armed with dozens of swords and a blue mask climbed onto the roof.

Yukari gulped. "Crap baskets..."

"He seems so lonely..." Minato muttered. "Like me..."

Yukari panted and took a step back as the shadow took a step forward. She tried to pull something out of her thigh hostler, but two slashes later she was cursing Minato and dropping to the ground in pain.

Minato stepped in front of her.

"Coward! Think you are tough by hitti-"

The Shadow then looked directly at Minato.

"I mean you should kill me first..." He gulped.

The Shadow charged for our protagonist, who sighed. "This is it... Mother, father..." He took a deep breath. "Holy shit, I have to pee first!" The shadow aimed a thrust for Minato's heart, but he rolled to the side.

"Time out!" Minato cried.

The shadow aimed another thrust.

"I told you, never kill someone with a blad-" The sword missed Minato's forehead by mere inches and it ended up ripping a few strands of his hair off.

"..." Minato went speechless.

"Oh thank God," Yukari said cheerfully, even though she was bleeding to death. "That kinda makes him more bearable." Minato looked as dead as ever. "Slash his face off, too!"

Minato just stared lifelessly at his fallen strands of hair. He couldn't believe it...

Yukari blinked when she observed a flash of anger in Minato's eyes.

The shadow came closer for another strike but this time, Minato finally exploded.

"You fucking douche pickle!" Minato let out a roar, scaring the crap outta both Yukari and shadow. You just don't touch the protagonist's hair like that. "You sorry son of a bitch!" Our protagonist charged right for the monstrosity.

The Shadow sailed one of its swords forward towards Minato, but the teenager swiftly ducked and snatched the blade away. "Takebitch, close your eyes," He warned.

"Don't order me around, you sluuuuuuuuu-"

A slash of Minato's sword and splatter of ichor later.

"... My virgin eyes exposed to such horror..." she stated.

Minato was cussing various profanities at the Shadow, all the while ripping it apart slowly and with pleasure. "You picked the wrong house, foo'. Tryna step up to me in mah own crib, roll the fuck outta here with yo punk ass!"

"Is he speaking ghetto?" Yukari blinked. "Aw, shit that's hot."

"He's really giving that Shadow a pounding," Yukari noted. "Oooh yeah, shove your foot up his vagina!" Another level up!

Minato delivered a final blow to the Shadow, which dissolved into ichor and began to fade. The protagonist panted hard, a sick smile on his face. "Cowboy up, ya chanky little shit."

Minato turned around to face Yukari. "Ya want some of this, shorty?"He looked below." Yeah, that's right, you don't touch my hair. Motherfuc-" His eyes landed on some sort of silver gun right next to his feet.

And suddenly, Yukari let out a loud moan as Minato dropped the sword and slid to the ground. His badassery thrown out the window, the same "Okay guy" Expression sliding back into his features once again.

Minato cradled the blade in his palms and sniffed. "What have I done?" He looked at his hands, which were clean of blood but regardless, Minato began cussing himself out. "He had a lonely heart, like mine..."

"He was a fucking shadow," Yukari growled, still bleeding.

Minato looked over to Yukari. "Damn... they make diapers for this sorta stuff, you know?"

"Fuck you," Yukari spat.

Minato ignored her and looked at his ichor stained uniform. "I'm a monster..."

"I wish that gun was real," Yukari bashed her head on the concrete.

"And for my sins, I will pay the ultimate price," Minato picked the gun up, pressed the barrel of the gun to his forehead. "Farewell, Yukari-san!" Minato unloaded a bullet into his skull and shit hit the fan.

Blue mist and glass shards swirled around our protagonist who closed his eyes and muttered. "I'm coming..." Just behind Minato, a creature with a metallic body and an organic head appeared, it seemed just as sad and pathetic as our hero.

Minato turned around and whistled. "Sweet sleep, Minato, you're finally in the hands of a guardian ange-"

"... You're still alive," Yukari muttered. Minato swirled around to face her.

"Yeah, I'm just as stumped as you are," He stated.

She growled. "And your Persona suc-" Minato cut her off by a sharp scream, his Persona screamed as well, both of them feeling like something was ripping them apart.

Two hands came out from Orpheus' body and moments later, Orpheus exploded into a vile, blackened, gigantic dinosaur like creature which had several coffins linked to its back.

"Holy, your persona is on steroids!"

The new persona, death itself, looked over the battlefield. All it spotted was two teenagers, one was a crippled, nearly dead shell of a human while the other was bleeding on the ground.

"..."

"..."

"Y'all are bitches," Thanatos commented.

"We know," Minato nodded sadly.

"I am not a bitch, bitch!" Yukari snarled.

Thanatos then gave a piercing glare to the brunette.

"OhmyGodItotallyam, pleasedon'tkillme!" Yukari nodded furiously as she spoke.

With a primal roar, Thanatos disappeared into blue mist and Yukari finally got up. Minato sighed, another chance to die just passed him.

"Heavens, will I ever be released from this torment..."

Yukari finally had enough.

She grabbed the evoker and smashed it right on the back of Minato's head, making our hero drop onto the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"That shit was getting really old," Yukari sighed.

As the threat was finally over, the two seniors hurried up the stairs and came running onto the roof.

"Is he oka- Oh My Gosh, he's asleep," Mitsuru squealed.

"Yeah.." Yukari sighed dreamily.

Meanwhile, Akihiko observed Yukari who was caked in blood. "They make diapers for this sorta stuff, you know?."

"Kiss my ass, gramps," Yukari spat.

"Sure, sure." Akihiko dismissed Yukari. "Now, whoever loses cleans the floor 123NotIt!" Akihiko yelled as he raised his hand.

"Not it!" Mitsuru spoke.

"Not I- DAMMIT!" Yukari shouted.

* * *

><p><strong>Welp, that's done. yes, Minato breaking outta his shell when his emo cut is in danger is another running gag, along with Yukari trying to level up her tough chick persona. One day I'll even make a list of running gags.<strong>

**Remember, Minato has no fucking way of getting into the velvet room, what do you think will happen? Read and find out.**

**Anyway, like always, review and give us both you're thoughts. They make us very happy.**

**Later.**


	5. Chapter 5

-Velvet Room-

Elizabeth sighed exasperatedly. "Why isn't he here?" she asked no one in particular, as she supported her chin on her hands.

"I have no idea, sister," Theo rubbed his chin. "He's been out for a few days now, he should be here."

Something then came flying towards Theo. Something metallic that smashed onto his face. The attendant growled in frustration but he was silenced as he laid his eyes upon that object.

"This is..."

"Oh, Heavens," Elizabeth groaned.

"Bloody thing tried to engage in a staring contest with me for days!" Igor huffed. "It was mocking me!

"If this is here..." Theo calculated. "Oh, Philemon..."

"That douche nozzle!" Igor added in.

"No wonder our guest hasn't arrived yet," Elizabeth massaged her temples. "Perhaps we should TRY to spend more time in this room from now on."

Igor summoned his bone cell phone out of thin air and punched some numbers on it. "Demon Painter? I need you here right now. I have a bitch of an itch on my ass cheek. I need you to scratch it for me... the left one... Oh, to Hell with you, too," Igor threw the cell phone out on the floor.

"... Impossible, sister," Theo stated, looking towards Igor. "What in the world was Philemon-san thinking?"

"That prick!"

...

Minato was supposed to be somewhere, but he wasn't. Our hero laid in the hospital bed for over a week, running away from the scary blue door in his dreams and the voices in his head. He still had no idea what that thing he summoned by shooting himself in the head was.

On the 7th day, he regained consciousness in the hospital, clearly not changed. And just as he woke up he started cussing his existence once again.

Oh, and Yukari was next to him. Her mind was drifting off to places.

"Oh yeah, shorty wants some of that..." Yukari sighed dreamily, remembering Minato's badassery at the rooftop. If only he was that badass everyday, maybe Yukari would let him f-

She lowered her eyes and accidentally upon Minato, who was up, unbeknownst to her presence.

"Aw shit!" Yukari moaned. The image inside her head cracked into a million pieces just as she laid her eyes upon our protagonist.

"Shit, you're up..." Yukari groaned.

"I shouldn't," Minato muttered sadly. "I really, really shouldn't."

"Cut that crap, seriously!"

Minato rubbed his eyes and looked below in sadness.

A brief moment of silence occurred, as Yukari thought of something.

"One more word and I'll rip your bangs off," Yukari threatened.

And this activated Minato's Limit Break! He leveled Yukari with a glare, which (made her squeal with joy) struck fear on her.

"I KNOW you ain't tryin' to make me mad, right now! You touch my hair, and I'll rip your insides apart in a way you won't even have time to feel good about it, a'ight?!"

"..." Yukari liked everything except for the brutal part...

... Okay, maybe she liked the brutal part a little bit.

"Matter of fact, get yo bitch ass outta my sight before I backhand yo ass outta the window and call you Lucy In The Sky WithOUT Diamonds!" Minato thundered.

Minato stared at Yukari who had her mouth wide open for a couple of seconds.

... Just how horrible was he?

The Limit Break gauge depleted.

"I'm sorry," And the Okay guy expression slid back to his face. "What was I saying? I didn't mean any of that... forgive me, please."

"... huh? Yeah, that's right," Yukari nodded dumbly after (not entirely) snapping out of her stupor.

"Beside, I wouldn't bang you," Minato sighed. "A tragedy, really..."

Yeah, damn right, he wouldn'-

...

...

Was he saying she was not good enough for him?!

Yukari's eyes flashed red for two seconds, but the little conscience she had left told her that choking Minato wouldn't do any good.

She forcefully shrugged, stood up and and walked towards the door.

She stopped just as she reached the door, however.

She remembered that he was actually the one who saved her from that terrible monster. That could have meant the end of her right there and then. She felt like there was something she had to do before leaving the room.

"...Oh yeah," She turned around to face him. "Thank y-"

"..."

"..."

Silence.

Then she let his Okay face sink in and wash away her thankfulness.

"Actually, fuck you," Yukari actually spat on the ground and walked away.

Minato curled up on the bed and laid there for the whole day, wrapped up in his own thoughts and wallowing in Yukari's ungratefulness, until Mitsuru kicked the door down. She grabbed Minato (not by his hair) and dragged him away towards the dorm.

-Iwatodai Dorm-

Minato was surrounded by the rest of his dorm mates... and the dumbass who was wearing a crown.

Our hero was curled up against the sofa, sucking on his thumb. "... When a blind man criiies... loooord you know, there aaaaain't a sadder taaaale..." and only stopping for singing more depressive songs.

Akihiko squinted at him for a long time. "How do you function?"

"No idea... I wish I didn't function at all..." Minato sniffed.

"You're a grown ass man, stop sucking on your thumb," Akihiko groaned.

"Correction: I might be a hermaphrodite," Minato replied.

"Who said that?"

Minato pointed his finger at Yukari. "She did."

Akihiko turned around to face the brunette with a straight face. "...Bitch," he said.

"Dick!" She replied.

"Silence!" Mitsuru interrupted with a lioness' roar. She looked over to Minato. "To sum things up in one line: You wanna kill some stuff?"

"Not really," Minato mumbled. "I am already full of regret and angst..."

Oh he retorted? Such insolence...!

"Who do you think you are?" Mitsuru actually flipped the table. "I own you! I own your ass! I own his ass!" She pointed at Akihiko, who flipped Mitsuru off.

"I own his finger too!" Mitsuru commanded. "You will do what I say, AND when I say, because you are my bitch!"

Minato looked towards Mitsuru and just sniffed. "...I'm fate's bitch more than anything."

"YOU WILL JOIN ME!" She roared as she pointed her Evoker to his head.

"But-"

Mitsuru shot a bullet upwards at th ceiling. Apparently that was not an Evoker. "DO I LOOK LIKE I'M ASKING?!" Her eyes would have flashed red, if they weren't already crimson.

"Okay..." Minato looked below.

Yukari's eyes twitched.

"Alright, thank you for your comprehension. Since you have a persona, this evo-" Mitsuru was interrupted.

"... What the Hell's a persona?" Minato questioned.

Minato still had no idea what the fuck a persona was, but Mitsuru ignored his questions and opened a briefcase. "Regardles, welcome to MOSEES."

"Okay," Minato said.

Mitsuru twitched without letting the smile fade from her face. "It's called Mitsuru Owns Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad."

"...I didn't as-"

"SHUT UP!" Mitsuru yelled. "God, the only reason why you're even in this club is because you look hot when you're asleep."

Minato nodded, but stopped himself short. "Wait... were you actually watching me in my sleep through that camera in my room?"

Akihiko pitched in. "Oh, they totally wer-"

"No, we weren't." Mitsuru retorted.

"But you were monitorin-"

"Akihiko, what are your weaknesses, again?" Mitsuru closed her eyes with a sweet smile, and the temperature grew colder.

...

"No, they were-" Akihiko cleared his throat mid sentence, noticing his higher pitched tone. "No, they weren't," he finished.

"... better sleep with a condom on, though," Akihiko whispered to Minato.

Minato sized Mitsuru up and thought to himself.

If he had a child with Mitsuru... would the kid's hair be purple?

...

Minato would love to put that theory to test.

Time froze and the sound of glass breaking resonated in Minato's ear. He was freaked out, to say the least. Minato flailed his arms and ended up shattering the card that was in front of him, cancelling the social link.

"Holy shit, the window!" Minato shrieked.

Mitsuru looked towards Minato, then towards Ikutsuki. "Why do I own so many dumbasses?"

...

The next day, Minato walked towards school, sad and downtrodden as ever. After a boring day of classes, Junpei came walking to his desk.

"Sup, man-bitch?" Junpei greeted.

"Hello kind sir," Minato greeted back. "How are you this fine day? I'm shit."

"No kidding you're shit. You're also an emo fag." Junpei corrected.

"Yeah, little bit of that too," Minato lowered his gaze.

"What's up with that stupid hair of yours?" Junpei spat and Minato flinched slightly.

"What's stopping me from ripping those ridiculous looking bangs off?" Junpei sneered.

Minato looked Junpei dead in the eye. "Yo, do NOT even try to touch my hair, boy." He slowly nodded. "Or else I'm gonna kick you in the nuts so hard, you're gonna become a transex!"

Junpei wasn't scared in the slightest. "Pft, trying to act tough," He spat, reaching out to touch Minato's hair.

"Junpei, no!" Yukari came running to stop him but it was too late.

... Nah, Yukari had no intention of stopping Junpei, she just wanted to add some dramatic effect.

Junpei ended up pulling Minato's sacred blue hair and he paid dearly for it. Our protagonist released another roar that scared the crap outta the capped teen.

Yukari watched in horror (and delight) as Minato tackled Junpei to the ground and ended up beating the crap outta him.

"I told you," he punched Junpei. "Not to touch," he punched Junpei. "My bloody hair!" And again.

Yukari squealed, once again experiencing the epic badassery of Minato. Apparently he has a british accent, too, for some reason. The whole school gathered around to observe the spectacle, even the teachers, but for some reason, Miss Toriumi wasn't present.

Minato stood up and towered over Junpei's battered frame. He then picked Junpei up by the back of his collar, dragged him close to the window, positioned him facing the outside in all fours and proceed to kick him in between his legs with all his strength, actually sending him flying out of the window.

"...GOOOOAAAL!" Our hero roared back to the cheers of the crowd. They started cheering for Minato like he had just made the final score of the World Cup.

"Oh yeah, he lives in my dorm! We're total buddies and-" Yukari rambled on to her friends.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

The adrenaline rush diminished and Minato slowly went back to normal. Yukari face palmed hard as Minato normal expression slid back into his face.

"Um..." Minato gulped, looking at the crowd.

"I'm sorry...?" He muttered, hoping that the students would forgive him for his outburst.

Then the crowd to boo. The students began to throw eggs and tomatoes at Minato. He did not know where they came from, but he just stood there and took the flying food. He deserved it.

Minato sighed as the crowd disappeared. He turned around, walked over to the window and looked below, to see Junpei laying nigh unconscious on the ground.

"I'M SOOORRYY!" Minato so that Junpei could hear him.

The only response he got was the sound of Junpei sobbing loudly in an incredibly high pitched tone.

And he also got another egg thrown at his face.

"I just want a hug," Minato sniffed as he got away from the window.

Yukari was the only one standing in the classroom. She stared long and hard at Minato. "You're a moron."

"I know," Minato sniffed again. Slowly and with regret, Minato walked out of the class, only to be pulled into the principal's office.

Due to the violence Minato had committed, he was suspended until further notice.

And still, he had no freaking clue what a persona was.

* * *

><p><strong>Phew, sorry this took a while, but I hope you enjoyed this. Next is the tartarus trip and still, Minato is clueless. Read and review, we'll see you soon.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

"Suspended!?" Mitsuru roared. "Do you any idea about the repercussions of your actions!?"

"I won't have school anymore...?" Minato replied.

"Shut your hole," she growled. "The headlines will read: Mitsuru's dorm-mate and property was suspended for unnecessary violence," She looked at the emo teenager dead in the eye. "Let me be clear on one point, it will be about me. All about me! Nothing about you, NOTHING!"

"I don't think so," he replied, making the redhead clench her fist. "It will be about a despicable emo bitch hybr-"

"He was cut off by Mitsuru grabbing him by the collar. "That's it!" she yelled as she pulled him closer. "One does not simply say no the ruler of all creation!"

"Wow... You must have more husbands than Yukari," Minato widened his eyes.

"GRR!" The furious Mitsuru tossed the junior over her shoulder and onto the ground below. Minato landed with his usual dead face and didn't even let out a gasp.

"She sighed. "What the hell are you?"

"I have no idea," Minato replied as he curled up again and began sucking on his thumb, singing his usual depressive songs.

"This will be a long night," Mitsuru crossed her arms and pinched her forehead.

"Hey, Takebitch?" Akihiko said as he walked into the dorm.

Oh, that son of a bicuit. "What!?" Yukari growled.

"Bring Minato here. Wake him up gently, alright?" he ordered.

She rose a brow at her senpai's kindness towards the blue haired teenager, but chose to shrug it off. The brunette stood up, cleared her throat and screamed at the top of her lungs.

"You bloated transvestite, get your sorry ass here!" she shouted, making Akihiko cringe.

"And now we wait..." Akihiko said as he began tapping his foot on the ground.

5 minutes later, Yukari couldn't wait for that worthless scum anymore. She stomped up the stairs, cussing various profanities at our protagonist. She arrived moments later, along with Minato. The brunette was holding onto blue haired sad sack by his collar. Akihiko cringed again. She sure looked pissed.

"I just want a hug..." Minato mumbled in his sleep.

"You ain't getting any!" the enraged girl hesitated a bit when she looked at his sleeping face, but eventually hurled our hero down the stairs, making Akihiko cringe once more.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..." soon enough, Minato crashed on the ground with a thud. Luckily, he wasn't hit on the head, but he was still in pain.

"Thank you sir, may I have another?" Minato groaned.

Akihiko squinted at Yukari.

"You keep your mouth shut!" she growled, kicking the stairs in rage, which made her hop on her feet in pain.

Minato slowly got up, his body still hurting. Akihiko looked at his underclassman sadly and he returned it. The two ended up staring up at each, for entirely different reasons. Akihiko looked on with pity and some slight concern, while Minato on the other hand was his usual emo self.

Soon enough, Yukari came down the stairs, breaking the staring contest.

"What do you want?" she asked with an annoyed sigh.

"Oh yeah, there is something I wanna introduce," Akihiko snapped outta his stupor and walked over to the door. He poked his head out and yelled. "Come on, you're taking way too long!"

"Hold your horses, this is freaking heavy!" the voice replied.

"I could run laps around the island carrying that little baggage! Do you even lift, brah?" he rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm not a gym junkie on steroids like someone I know!" the voice retorted.

"The Hell did you say?!" he furiously stomped outside.

After some impact noises, groans and screams of pain, Akihiko stepped inside again to introduce the newest member.

He dragged the beaten and broken Junpei by the collar. Despite the pain, he entered the dorm (still in Akihiko's grasp) with a cheeky grin and his finger pistols.  
>He looked as perverted as ever, only with a black eye and bruises all over.<p>

"Alright, bring on the babes!" he cheered with a slightly slurred voice. "I'm ready for the chi-"

He stopped as he laid his eyes on our protagonist.

Junpei shivered and instinctively he crossed his legs in fear.

"What's wrong?" Akihiko asked.

"H-He..." Junpei shakily pointed his finger Minato, quivering at the memory.

"What about him?"

"He kicked me in the dick," he gulped.

Minato sniffed and began sucking his thumb once again.

"Pft, dick!? You have a vagina!" Yukari said, getting another level up.

"What about me?" Minato mumbled.

"You have a vagina too!" she smirked. Another level up.

"Leave the poor guy alone," Akihiko demanded.

"And you're totally trying to hit it," she rolled her eyes. Three levels in a row... she was on a roll, today.

"GRRR!" he growled at her snark. This time, his gray eyes flashed red and several veins propping up all over his body.

Yukari was scared speechless, she knew he was into steroids since he started boxing, was that finally messing up with his testosterone?

The gray haired boxer roared. "You! I'm about to rip your face off with my bare hands and glue it to my punching bag, you abhorrent bi-"

"Silence, my bitches, your master is here," Mitsuru came stomping down the stairs. Her presence seemed to have stopped Akihiko's transformation of sorts. He gave an annoyed sigh and just glared at the brunette.

The red haired heir of the world throne flashed her diamond ring and glared at each of her team mates. "Today, we'll be exploring Tartarus!"

"Tartarus? That sounds like toothpaste," Junpei mused aloud.

"Like the toothpaste that went into my eyes once," Minato sniffed. "The pain reached into my soul and made me cry."

Everyone looked at our protagonist, who sniffed again.

"You poor thing..." Akihiko muttered to himself.

Junpei was about to snark at our blue haired hero, but he remembered his beating from earlier and so he stopped.

Mitsuru sighed in annoyance. Everyione was doing that a lot, lately. "Just shut your holes. We'll meet in front of the school before 12. Get lost maggots, you all annoy me!"

And like Mitsuru ordered, MOSEES was in front of their school just before the clock could strike 12.

"Fraantic, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tock," Minato hummed.

"Shut it!" Yukari growled.

"Tick tock, tick tock," he kept counting the seconds, hoping something could appear outta nowhere and end his miserable life.

Yukari was about to stomp over and beat him senseless, but the clock finally hit 12, and the usual conditions of the hidden hour struck the world. The moon became a pale yellow, the usually gray city now had a green hue to it, and the air seemed a bit misty

Minato's eye twitched. His hair wouldn't be so neat and fluffy because of this fucking atmosphere.

The school began to bend, twist and turn into a monstrous green tower that reached up to the moon. The juniors looked up in shock. Even Minato couldn't believe that something so horrific and demonic could exist.

Is was unreal...

The only thing as twisted as this was his own heart.

And yes, it slowly made sense...

This dreaded tower was a representation of his twisted heart.

He could feel it...

And now, it was time to unleash his hidden fury, and take care of business.

Minato looked back at his team members with his rare badass smirk and aura. "It's time..."

"Woah," The rest looked on in awe.

"To wreck their shit," he said as he swaggered into the tower, never looking back.

The rest were struck speechless for a couple of seconds, but they eventually followed him, still in awe of his epic badassery.

Minato ignored the blue door at the side and turned around to yell at his team mates. "Drag yo sorry asses, ya fucking worthless sacks of manure."

"How dare you-" Mitsuru roared, but he roared back.

"Shut up shorty," he growled and the redhead went speechless. Deep down, she was proud of her creation.

"Let's head in and kick monkey ass," Minato smashed his knuckles together.

"Awww shit, he's so hot," Yukari sighed dreamily.

"Very well," Mitsuru cleared her throat. "This is Tartarus, the labyrinth that reveals itself during the dark hour." she pointed at the top of the stairs. "The dungeon begins from there."

"Dungeon? Is this some kind of RPG, or something?" Junpei questioned.

"Also, we'll appoint a leader," the owner of SEES spoke, ignoring the capped teenager. "The field leader, of course. I'm still in command of the team entirely, got that?"

"A leader?" Junpei grinned. "Me me, pick me!"

"Uh sorry to burst your bubble," no, Akihiko wasn't sorry in the slightest. " But we'll pick Minato," he said.

"I don't give a shit, let me just..." the protagonist frowned at the staircase. "take out the trash..."

"Woah," The rest oohed once again.

"B-But, why is he a leader? He doesn't look like one!" Junpei cried.

""It's simple really, Yukari doesn't really give a shit, and you're comic relief" Akihiko pointed out. He then put his two fingers next to his temple "Besides, can you two summon your persona like he can?"

And at that point, Minato turned around. "The fuck's a persona?"

Akihiko and Mitsuru were about to answer but, the blue haired ex-emo snapped. "Oh, wait, forgot to mention. I don't give a fuck!"

With that, our protagonist charged up the staircase. He just passed through the gigantic clock and disappeared.

"Awww shit," Akihiko groaned.

"Quick, grab your evokers and get inside!" Mitsuru commanded.

"Evokers? The Hell is that?" Junpei asked aloud.

"I forgot mine at my room!" Yukari cried.

"Ohhhh shit," Akihiko groaned. "I hope he's okay..."

And inside Tartarus... it wasn't anything short of horrific.

* * *

><p><strong>Welp, there you have it, Minato is ready to kick ass... but for how long?<strong>

**Like always, please review so we can get some motivation and all that jazz.**

**See you.**


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